I have a problem. There is this nagging voice in the back of my mind that tells me I can save everyone no matter their disposition on faith. No matter if they're extremely violent, bitter, hateful, gay, or just lost in general; I believe with the right words or enough time spent together that they can be reached. I want to believe that somehow the light of Christ can break through whatever walls they may have spent a lifetime setting up and eradicate the darkness of their soul. Sadly, I'm beginning to think that there is a harsh truth I may have to accept which contradicts this hope I have spent my life nurturing.
When people get into heated discussions with me, some would call them arguments but I try to never argue because no positive change ever comes from an argument, they often say that I come across as unrelenting or even exasperating with my tireless pursuit of some type of resolve to the conversation. It may seem as if I want everyone to believe exactly what I believe, but that isn't true. I only want people to believe what I believe when I think that their beliefs cause them harm. I truly want what is best for everyone despite our differences because I believe that everyone impacts the world with how they handle themselves. If someone is "self-destructive" they are not just harming themselves but the community around them as well. It may not even be a community they themselves perceive but it is indeed there. I can't simply drive my car irradically down the freeway saying "It's my car and I can drive how I want! If I crash and burn it only hurts myself anyway!" Anyone who has been in a car accident and lost a vehicle or loved one to a careless driver knows that our mistakes often have profound ripple effects that travel unexpectedly through the world, even impacting complete strangers. It is for this reason that I want to evoke as much good in people as is humanly, or should I say divinely, possible.
Look at the impact that one cocky, pissed off angel had on humanity. Lucifer conned humans into letting Sin enter into the world and forever changed our destiny. He took with him God knows how many other angels who were at one time goodhearted followers of God and corrupted them into demonic figures who stalk the earth looking to terrorize human beings. Knowing myself, if I were in Heaven when Lucifer rebelled I would have been pleading with God to just let me talk to him for a bit, to let me hang out with him and get to know his side of the story, maybe play some basketball together or go see a movie and grab coffee afterwards so I could develop enough trust and credibility to speak into his life. I know this is foolish but I just can't shake this enduring hope, this relentless optimism that somehow God could use me to change even the vilest of beings.
I believe that there is a good inside everyone and everything God created that can all too often be severely repressed in our hearts. While I believe it can be repressed, I do not believe it can be extinguished. People usually lift up Hitler as one of those people who was so clearly beyond salvation. I think Hitler had a pretty screwed up childhood and that he developed a twisted comfort in hate rather than love at an early age that grew into total depravity. It's incredibly tragic how our neglect can cause enough pain in one person's life to inspire genocide years later. It is for this reason that I have to believe that Christ's enduring love poured out through us can cause and even greater impact on people's lives. I have to believe that. This life doesn't make sense if that isn't true and our God is not a God of true love if that's not true.
So this is the part where Scripture kind of rains on my hopeful parade...I know Jesus talks about there being one unforgivable sin, that being blasphemy against the Holy Spirit in Matthew 12:31. This fact is echoed throughout parts of the New Testament, such as 1 John 5:16 which goes so far as to say that we shouldn't even bother praying for people who have committed this sin. That's harsh to me, but it doesn't mean I disagree with it. It clashes with my soul because it means there are people in this life that will completely understand who Christ is and was and is to come, yet still be able to thoughtfully reject Him. The prime example of this, besides Satan and Hitler, would have to be Judas. I feel bad for Judas because someone inevitably had to be born as Judas in order to fulfill the prophecies made about Jesus. If we all cast lots before we were born into this world, then Judas drew the shortest possible lot and got the shaft where the sun don't shine. How sad to be so close to the Son for so long and be destined to never truly taste His love and grace, and instead suffer God's eternal wrath. Satan experienced the greatness of Heaven and still rejected it! How are these things possible?! What is it about our human nature (or angelic nature for Satan) that can be so corrupted that we can have Jesus right in front of our faces and still say "Get lost, I'm better off without ya." I know I'm supposed to turn my back on these kind of people and shake the dust from my sandals at them but I just can't do it. Maybe I need to be broken down a bit more until I'm jaded about humanity, but I find myself constantly praying for these hopelessly lost types.
As I end this discourse on reaching the unreachable I'm humbled by how Scripture constantly reminds us that we may feel justified in our questioning of the ways of the Creator but in actuality it is the most arrogant thing we can possibly do. Romans 19:17-22 says:
17 For
the Scriptures say that God told Pharaoh, "I have appointed you for the
very purpose of displaying my power in you and to spread my fame
throughout the earth." 18 So you see, God chooses to show mercy to some, and he chooses to harden the hearts of others so they refuse to listen. 19 Well then, you might say, “Why does God blame people for not responding? Haven't they simply done what he makes them do?" 20 No,
don't say that. Who are you, a mere human being, to argue with God?
Should the thing that was created say to the one who created it, "Why
have you made me like this?" 21 When
a potter makes jars out of clay, doesn't he have a right to use the
same lump of clay to make one jar for decoration and another to throw
garbage into? 22 In
the same way, even though God has the right to show his anger and his
power, he is very patient with those on whom his anger falls, who are
destined for destruction.
Echoing this point of view is Proverbs 16:4 saying "The Lord has made everything for His own purposes, even the wicked for a day of destruction." I don't know if I'm not allowed to pity the jars that were made to be thrown into the fire or not. It seems like a crappy deal to me, but who am I to question the will of an all-powerful, all-mighty, omnipotent God? I hope God sees my compassion not as dissent against His will but merely a love for what He created---all that He created. I'm trying to accept His will for creation day by day and not waste my time trying to convert Satan or save Judas from disaster, but it's more difficult than it seems; for how do we know who is really a 'Judas' or a 'Pharaoh' and not just someone who is extremely lost yet still retains the possibility of being saved?
Questions without Answers...That's as good a place to stop as any.
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