The Quest for Honor: Humility

If I've realized anything from my upbringing it is that I will have a tendency towards being self-centered, prideful and afraid. I don't say that to blame the people who raised me but merely to point out the fact that we human beings will inevitably pass on the bad just as we pass on the good, and it's our job to mitigate the damage. Because of my upbringing I will also have a tendency to be strong-willed, outspoken, compassionate, and a vigilant advocate for justice.

Recently I've been inspired to be more strategic about improving myself so I can be the most effective instrument of the Lord as is humanly possible. "The shape of our character is the shape of our future." and "The path to freedom is paved by our character." I think about my character often. Am I courageous? Do I have integrity? Is humility the foundation of my spirituality? These are just three areas that I focus most of my attention on, and I've found that humility is most likely the area that I need the most amount of work. My struggle has been like a pendulum swinging back and forth between overtly prideful misconduct followed by an overcompensation of self-deprecating cowardice that leads me to hide myself in the shadows as I avoid the good I can do in order to avoid the bad I might do.  However, I've learned now that "Humility doesn't require us to be self-deprecating. Humility is not about having a low self-image or poor self-esteem. Humility is about self-awareness."

Humility is the perfect balance between standing to speak and sitting to listen. I want to perfect that balance because "Humility not only draws others to us, but draws God to us." On top of that, there is "perhaps no characteristic more central to the heart of God than humility." Jesus came to serve humanity yet He constantly stood up for the poor, neglected people of society and never shied away from a confrontation. All the right people were drawn to Him and all the wrong people cast judgement on themselves by rejecting the Light.

Deep down, I truly want to be a great man. I think of Joseph, David, Solomon, Peter, and Paul all being such cool examples of great men. All too often I find myself telling God where I would be most effective or what blessings should be applied to my life in order to reach their level of greatness. Unfortunately, I've been told that "If you are still relating to God through negotiations, you have not yet found the path of humility." So I've done my best to leave those ways behind and instead seek a humility that "leaves us empty." Not empty in the sense that I am hollow, but rather teachable. I long to have an attitude that leaves me joyful when I am being corrected by the Father. I yearn for a spirit of submission that allows for God to tweak and adjust my life's path every step of the way even when it's uncomfortable, all for the end goal of glorifying His Kingdom to the fullest extent and in the hopes that one more soul will be saved through my joy, discomfort or even pain.

(These are my thoughts, hopes and prayers as I begin my Quest for Honor inspired by the book Uprising by Erwin McManus. Every quote that was used in this post is from Uprising.)