"Suck Brick Kid!"

God has a wonderfully effective way of smacking me right upside the head when my mind starts wandering off to dark places. When I begin to feel anxious, restless, or uncertain about the future the last thing I usually want to do is read Scripture, but it always seems to be God's weapon of choice when it comes to making spiritual adjustments. Initially, His unfailing truth hits me like a brick I should have seen coming from a mile away (I imagine He has a lot of bricks prepared for me in my journey, much like Macaulay Culkin on the roof in Home Alone 2). However, the impact is never painful, just strong enough to knock me back on track.

This evening as I was feeling extremely unsettled with work, finances, and the future so I just sat in the most uncomfortable chair in my apartment and wondered what could possibly be the next step. Luckily, I had my iphone in my hand and something compelled me, possibly the power of Christ, to open up my handy dandy Bible app. The last thing I had been reading was Philippians 2 because I was looking for a verse about complaining, something I'm sure I'll blog about in the near future. What caught my eye in that moment was the verse just before the one I had researched days earlier, and that is Philippians 2:13 which says "For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him."

The second half of that verse is what really carried the weight of the realization God placed in my heart. God is giving you the POWER to do what pleases Him. I already feel like I have the desire to do what pleases God. That desire has shaped my whole life. However, I have never been secure in my belief that I have the power to do what it is will please God. I have such grand dreams of accomplishing miraculous things for the Kingdom in my lifetime, but I am often plagued with the fear that I will get in the way of myself, that I will somehow obstruct my own path and hinder my potential to serve Christ to the fullest. Tonight I was reminded just how foolish it is to worry about what I can do, for it is not my power that gets anything truly good done in this world.

I love the book of Philippians because it focuses on humility. Humility is so counter cultural, so offensive to our human nature (especially mine), that the thought of accomplishing true humility is overwhelming. It's like trying to capture a unicorn. Although, I do believe nothing worth achieving is ever easy and maybe the best goals are the ones which do indeed appear to be unattainable for they leave room for God to act miraculously. I want to be truly humble someday so that my pride will cease to lead me to believe that I know what is best for my life and thus lead me into the snares of worry as my expectations never fit the schemes of this world. The reality is that I will most likely never reach this profound level of humility, but it's worth a shot. In the meantime, I'm sure God has plenty of bricks for a lifetime of loving guidance and correction.