Mental Agoraphobia

I'm starting to become wary of overly introverted people. It's fine if you don't like parties or loud music and prefer one-on-one interactions, much like I do, but there's something dangerous about taking up residence in your own head for too long. Being consumed by the solace in our own minds is scary place to be for any extent of time and if our voice becomes the dominant voice speaking into our lives than we are descending down a dark and tragic path. I have known and loved several extremely introverted people and sadly I'm beginning to be jaded by the outcomes of these relationships.

Mental shut-ins, or agoraphobics of the mind as I think of them, constantly fail to reap the benefits of human intimacy. Worse yet, they lash out at those who get close enough to tempt them out of their safe, little worlds created in the vacuum of their obsessive thought life. We all create realities for ourselves based on how we perceive every aspect of life, be it pain, love, heartbreak, or happiness. We also tend to resist people (or even deities) who threaten to change the structure of these worlds we've created through our accumulated perceptions. We will become so self absorbed by our own realities that we will even begin to accept harmful things as familiar things. We alter the true characteristic of inherently good or bad things to fit our skewed worldview. For instance, if we are angry all the time we will just shift our view of anger so it becomes a source of comfort rather than a toxic emotion that degrades our souls over time. The same goes for love. If loving relationships constantly end in heartbreak or loss, then love must be an evil thing that needs to be avoided at all costs. It kills me to watch loved ones go through this because they allow pain to run so deep and their minds to be so corrupted that any source of light and truth appears manipulative and offensive.

Maybe the theme of this post isn't so much about the dangers of locking ourselves away in mental and emotional solitude, as much as it is about the tendency to rely on experience as a basis for truth. I once read that "experience is the mother of all deception". In the Wesleyan Quadrilateral, which many theologians use to develop doctrines of faith, there is a system of using Scripture, Tradition, Experience, and Reason to formulate a belief system. It's what I try to employ in my life as much as possible. The way it is supposed to work is more like a pyramid than a quadrilateral. Scripture is supreme and ranks 1st above everything else. Tradition comes in 2nd as it is the "living faith of the dead" (not 'the dead faith of the living' as it has become in many denominations *cough*Catholicism*cough*). Experience is at the bottom, but nonetheless very important. Finally, Reason is supposed to be used throughout the other three sections of the pyramid, sort of like a common thread holding it all together. No piece of the pyramid should be implemented without a great deal of rational thought. That is why experience is so tricky because it is so so so subjective. Yet we, as individuals in our nature, tend to tip the scales in favor of our own personal, subjective experiences rather than scripture and tradition outweighing experience by several tons. The more we dwell on our experiences, shut out the traditions of believers who have thrived before us, and ignore the Word of God, the more we will be apt to slip into the abyss of our own prideful mindset that dictates just how profoundly intelligent all of our views are on everything under the sun.

I do love, with all my heart, several people in this world who have been so damaged by what this life has thrown at them that they have retreated into the ramparts of their minds. It's dark and quiet and lonely, but so very safe. They put up a veneer of strength in solace and adopt a slogan of "proud to be going it alone" or "rugged individualism" that has been celebrated by our culture for so long, but it is so utterly false. Their lives lean on shaking beams beneath a foundation they created from their own shattered hearts...

I'm sort of at the end of my rope and reaching for another as I continue to love these people and give them all I have to give. Beyond that, all I can think to do is sit and pray, and pray, and pray that God kicks down the walls these people have fought so hard to build around their hearts and try to prevent others from walking down a similar path. I hope you will pray with me and continue to hope for better things for all the lost and broken people working so hard to protect themselves rather than surrender to the abundant safety that only lies within the arms of our Savior.