Do you ever meet really weird people who claim to be "Christians"? That's a bit of a rhetorical question. But do you also cringe a little bit inside when you find out how outspoken they are about their faith because it makes you nervous to think of someone that crazy going around telling other non-believers about God? Telling them about the same Jesus you believe in? I may be a bit cynical in this aspect of my faith but I very much want my religion, and my relationship with God to be taken seriously. I too want to be taken seriously and not grouped into a category with the rest of the "crazy, whack-job, religious fanatics" in society. Those people ruin Christianity for me a bit, and they shouldn't. I know Jesus would have loved them just the same. Weirdness never disqualified anyone from the love of Christ. I however, do not love like Christ does, yet. I want to be able to value those who continually push the limits of socially acceptable behavior (in a strange way, not as Jesus crossed cultural barriers in society to prove a point).
As I was mulling over my uneasiness with weird people, I came to the realization that we all have to be a little "off" in order to be Christ-followers in the first place. Think about it, we talk to someone who we can't see, we follow mystical feelings that we describe as "callings", we have no clear answer for dinosaurs, we believe in being able to tell the future aka prophecy, miraculous healings, floods, and to top it off that a mystical spirit lives within us that cleanses us from all sin and has the power to move mountains. Try telling that to any logical person who has never darkened the doors of a church before and see if they come running to God with arms open wide. We are all weird, but profoundly beautiful. We are, in every sense of the word, blessed to have found such a wonderful truth in this life. The catch is that it comes with a lifetime of mainstream society looking down on us, mocking our faith, doctrines, scripture, traditions, experiences, and Christ Himself.
It's hard to block those condescending voices out. I've found that if we listen to them for too long that we begin to question our own sanity, which makes it difficult to accept God's voice in our own lives. I was on the treadmill last night listening to some Gospel music (something I should do more often) and I inexplicably felt God's love and acceptance of me for exactly who I am. It was a moment that almost brought me to tears before the doubtful voice arrived in my head telling me: "It's just endorphins caused by exercise" and "You just want to feel something so bad that this is all in your head, don't attribute this to God." You see, I have always caricatured those people who tell me about those mystical experiences they've had with God that they couldn't explain. I envy their experiences and I so badly want to hear the voice of God, see an angel, or feel the physical touch of Christ for myself that I have made experiencing God's presence into something so majestic that I've blocked out the possibility of simply feeling His presence in an empty gym on a long run on the treadmill.
I don't want to be labeled as "one of those crazy Christians" but even more so I don't want that fear to prevent me from growing my faith to its fullest potential or from experiencing God for even one second. I guess we all have to accept that we are crazy people before we can experience God's crazy love.
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