We are creatures of habit. Good ones, bad ones, useless ones. In this case I'll mostly be talking about the bad ones. Usually we don't understand that something has become a bad habit, aka demon, until a situation occurs that shakes up our little worlds. A good friend once told me, you can't change by being told about your flaws, you have to be shown. As I've been reading through Mark this past week I've realized that Jesus works in that very manner.
I didn't quite understand Mark 3:12 the first time I read it. In the verses prior to it, Jesus has been casting out evil spirits who shriek in pain as they realize that He is the Son of God. In verse 12 Jesus commands these evil spirits not to tell anyone who He is. It is written "Jesus sternly commanded the spirits not to reveal who He was." For some reason I could not wrap my head around the fact that Jesus did not want everyone possible proclaiming who He was, until I studied the story about the demon-possessed man in Mark 5.
When I started to read this passage today I thought that it was the perfect kind of scary, ghost story fitting of the Halloween season we are in. It tells of a man who was possessed by so many demons that he grew more and more twisted until he began to stalk through the cemetery every night howling and cutting himself with sharp stones. Some of the towns people became so terrified of him that they tried binding him in shackles and chains. However, the man was so strong with evil powers that he would snap the chains from his wrists and smash the shackles on his body. This man was quite a beast but still no match for the JC.
Jesus confronts this man head on and the demons, collectively called Legion, "begged Him again and again not to send them to some distant place." (v. 10). So in a move that would piss off PETA in a big way, Jesus casts the demons into 2,000 little piggies and sends them all the way home to the bottom of a lake. Now, anyone who has ever lived in a small town knows that big news spreads fast. Even trivial news spreads like wild fire in a rural town such as this, so one can imagine that word of Jesus' actions would get around quickly. The surprising part of the story is not that everyone finds out but how they react once they do find out.
Verse 17 depicts the crowd begging Jesus to "go away and leave them alone." Why would they do this? After all they knew about the struggles the demon-possessed man faced for so long and how he terrorized their town, how would seeing him healed and sane not drive them to worship Christ? It's really quite simple. People have been the same since the beginning of time, and we have always preferred the devil we know to the angel we don't. Those townsfolk we terrified of the demon-possessed man yet they grew to be comfortable with that terror. They knew that evil and thought it wasn't that bad after all. Jesus challenged them to flip their world upside down and recreate their understanding of what God was doing in the world as well as what He was calling them to do.
The demon-possessed man fell on the exact opposite end of this spectrum. Verse 18 shows the man begging to go with Jesus as He left town. Why was his reaction so different? Because he experienced the evil first-hand and the change that followed. The man was shown his flaws while the towns people were merely told about theirs. When he experienced the renewed life Jesus offered him he knew that there was no going back. The townsfolk merely saw that Jesus disturbed the life they had come to know and accept. Loosing that life was not worth gaining the true life that Christ offered them.
I wonder how often we do this in life. Obviously most of the time it wont be such an overt experience that threatens the demons in our lives but it's still noticeable every time we choose to move away from God in support of our own selfish motives. Jesus is constantly trying to show us the error of our ways but too often we have to become raving lunatics wondering around grave yards at night first before we let Him change us. Ok, that's an exaggeration I know, but we still need to be vigilant about ridding ourselves of the devils we know when there are plenty of angels out there waiting for us.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Beyond Esteem
Our society often deals with the issue of personal contentment within the realm of self-esteem. How good we feel about ourselves usually has to do with how much we allow the opinions of others affect us. In my opinion, we can never have the proper amount of self-esteem until we recognize who actually is the ultimate judge.
A lot of what I'm about to say comes from Timothy Keller's podcast entitled "The Sickness Unto Death", so if you don't like my version of things you should listen to his sermon for a better understanding. The basis for my understanding of how a Christian should handle the matter of self-esteem comes from 1 Corinthians 4:3-4, which says "I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me." Here, we see that Paul's perspective of self-esteem is entirely off the map because we are usually at one end of the two extremes of self-esteem. We either have too high of a regard for ourselves, causing us to be arrogant, self righteous, and prideful or we have too little self-esteem causing us to be depressed, insecure, and unstable.
To describe things as concisely as possible I'll just say that we are to live beyond esteem. Paul says he doesn't even judge himself, only God judges. That should bring a profound sense of peace to our lives as God loves us completely and unconditionally so there is no standard that we must live up to in order to be accepted. When we rely on boosting our self-esteem through anyone but God we will always come up empty. What tends to happen most often is that we seek the cheapest, easiest forms of approval in order to gain the quickest high we can get. Just look at Facebook for example. We post pictures and hope to gain as many "likes" as possible, or we post what we hope to be funny, exciting or witty status updates that we hope will catch the eye of all those with whom we are "friends". On that note, we collect facebook friends like trophies that represent our self-worth in the world. It's ridiculous and it creates an all too fragile reality for far too many people because our self-esteem is raised just only half as much as it is lowered by this superficial conduct.
The flipside to this reality are those people who isolate themselves in their own personal opinions and become closed off to the thought of anyone else's point of view. It seems like this is a product of our American individualistic culture that we can't comprehend living beyond our own personal thoughts about ourselves because we elevate our opinions to the status of Godhood. We should care about what others think of us to some degree so we never loose accountability but we should never find our self worth in the opinion of any man or woman. I say all this as the chief among sinners. I have found myself on both sides of the coin in this instance so I know how detrimental they can be. I am learning to rely on God's approval alone but it is a complicated process. These habits are ingrained in us from our families, friends, and culture. We have to shake off the chains of false self-esteem and realize that the One who created us thinks that we are beautiful, interesting, lovely people despite all of our flaws. Once we realize that, every ounce of judgement is gone and we can finally accept ourselves as God does.
A lot of what I'm about to say comes from Timothy Keller's podcast entitled "The Sickness Unto Death", so if you don't like my version of things you should listen to his sermon for a better understanding. The basis for my understanding of how a Christian should handle the matter of self-esteem comes from 1 Corinthians 4:3-4, which says "I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me." Here, we see that Paul's perspective of self-esteem is entirely off the map because we are usually at one end of the two extremes of self-esteem. We either have too high of a regard for ourselves, causing us to be arrogant, self righteous, and prideful or we have too little self-esteem causing us to be depressed, insecure, and unstable.
To describe things as concisely as possible I'll just say that we are to live beyond esteem. Paul says he doesn't even judge himself, only God judges. That should bring a profound sense of peace to our lives as God loves us completely and unconditionally so there is no standard that we must live up to in order to be accepted. When we rely on boosting our self-esteem through anyone but God we will always come up empty. What tends to happen most often is that we seek the cheapest, easiest forms of approval in order to gain the quickest high we can get. Just look at Facebook for example. We post pictures and hope to gain as many "likes" as possible, or we post what we hope to be funny, exciting or witty status updates that we hope will catch the eye of all those with whom we are "friends". On that note, we collect facebook friends like trophies that represent our self-worth in the world. It's ridiculous and it creates an all too fragile reality for far too many people because our self-esteem is raised just only half as much as it is lowered by this superficial conduct.
The flipside to this reality are those people who isolate themselves in their own personal opinions and become closed off to the thought of anyone else's point of view. It seems like this is a product of our American individualistic culture that we can't comprehend living beyond our own personal thoughts about ourselves because we elevate our opinions to the status of Godhood. We should care about what others think of us to some degree so we never loose accountability but we should never find our self worth in the opinion of any man or woman. I say all this as the chief among sinners. I have found myself on both sides of the coin in this instance so I know how detrimental they can be. I am learning to rely on God's approval alone but it is a complicated process. These habits are ingrained in us from our families, friends, and culture. We have to shake off the chains of false self-esteem and realize that the One who created us thinks that we are beautiful, interesting, lovely people despite all of our flaws. Once we realize that, every ounce of judgement is gone and we can finally accept ourselves as God does.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Reevaluate
Last week a friend of mine died. She was 23. Apparently, she took a three story fall from a rock climbing wall as she was working at a youth camp. I still don't quite know what to make of it.
I first met Nadyne my junior year at APU. She was my RA which would have normally meant that I would never see her nor develop a relationship with her, but Nadyne was different. She came by all the time in order to intentionally build relationships with 4 guys who would otherwise avoid every community meeting and organized event. She baked for us, watched movies with us, and even had late night conversations about war and the military as 3/4 of us were in ROTC at the time (I was in the process of getting out of it). We both had studied abroad in Spain and had strong critiques about Christian culture so we got along great.
I last saw her in May on the night that I graduated. She was at a party my friend was having for all of us that had graduated. We caught up a little bit but nothing serious because in my mind I always expect to see people again. Young people are supposed to live forever, right? I still can't imagine the Nadyne I talked to and bonded with lying on a stretcher in some hospital, broken and lifeless, or in a casket with friends and family gathered around saying their last goodbyes...but I can imagine her dancing and signing with her Father in Heaven, away from all the pain this world holds. I can imagine her asking God so many questions about life, the bible, theology, and creation. I can imagine her being happy right now and for all eternity.
Sometimes I wonder if she or I is the lucky one. Am I more fortunate to be on this earth a few days longer than her or is she the lucky one who got to go home early? Some days I just want to go home already. I'm tired of the hurt, pain, sorrow and disappointment this world brings. I'm looking forward to some brighter days, hopefully here but definitely there. I admire Paul who found his contentment in the Lord no matter where he was. I need to develop that ability in my own life. We all do, or else things like death and suffering become too much for any human heart to bear.
These past few months have been hard. I can't imagine what the next few months will be like for Nadyne's family...We all suffer hardships. I'm still trying to reevaluate my life and relationship with Christ to ensure that, no matter what happens, I am never broken beyond repair and that the Joy of the Lord never leaves me.
I first met Nadyne my junior year at APU. She was my RA which would have normally meant that I would never see her nor develop a relationship with her, but Nadyne was different. She came by all the time in order to intentionally build relationships with 4 guys who would otherwise avoid every community meeting and organized event. She baked for us, watched movies with us, and even had late night conversations about war and the military as 3/4 of us were in ROTC at the time (I was in the process of getting out of it). We both had studied abroad in Spain and had strong critiques about Christian culture so we got along great.
I last saw her in May on the night that I graduated. She was at a party my friend was having for all of us that had graduated. We caught up a little bit but nothing serious because in my mind I always expect to see people again. Young people are supposed to live forever, right? I still can't imagine the Nadyne I talked to and bonded with lying on a stretcher in some hospital, broken and lifeless, or in a casket with friends and family gathered around saying their last goodbyes...but I can imagine her dancing and signing with her Father in Heaven, away from all the pain this world holds. I can imagine her asking God so many questions about life, the bible, theology, and creation. I can imagine her being happy right now and for all eternity.
Sometimes I wonder if she or I is the lucky one. Am I more fortunate to be on this earth a few days longer than her or is she the lucky one who got to go home early? Some days I just want to go home already. I'm tired of the hurt, pain, sorrow and disappointment this world brings. I'm looking forward to some brighter days, hopefully here but definitely there. I admire Paul who found his contentment in the Lord no matter where he was. I need to develop that ability in my own life. We all do, or else things like death and suffering become too much for any human heart to bear.
These past few months have been hard. I can't imagine what the next few months will be like for Nadyne's family...We all suffer hardships. I'm still trying to reevaluate my life and relationship with Christ to ensure that, no matter what happens, I am never broken beyond repair and that the Joy of the Lord never leaves me.
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